Non-threatening, utterly generic pop-metal

I’ve never had any time for Amaranthe.

After hearing them once I thought they sounded like Ariane Grande trying to do metal, and switched off immediately. Then a few weeks ago while I was searching for some housewife porn, I somehow accidentally YouTubed their song Viral and liked it enough to give the new album a go.

And for what it is, it’s not shit. Not completely. Apart from Viral which, with my limited knowledge of Amaranthe’s other songs, could be the best thing they’ve ever done, Manifest is pretty non-threatening, utterly generic pop-metal that’s catchy enough to be annoying after the first couple of listens but good enough in its own way. There’s three vocalists for some reason and Jeff Fucking LOOMIS! makes a guest appearance ripping people’s faces off, and for people who normally listen to dance music it would be a decent gateway into heavy rock. 

BUT THEN. Ten tracks into this and I’m enjoying it as much as a real music fan can enjoy saccharine, over-produced pop-in-metal-clothing, when Amaranthe does something that makes Korn’s dubstep album seem like a good idea. I’m not sure if this is meant to be a parody or not, but Boom!1 is not just the worst song released this year, it’s probably one of the worst this century. It honestly sounds like Lacuna Coil jamming with Slipknot but they’re all on meth and Corey Taylor has stormed out to go drinking with Joey Jordison. You know how Birch yells “Rock!” in that Amity song for literally no reason? That is orders of magnitude less lame than the dickhead from this band shouting “The breakdown goes BOOM!” on this track and I can only hope they’re making fun of deathcore or something because it’s so embarassingly terrible it almost made me drive into a building.

It’s a shame, because even though I’ll never bother listening to Manifest ever again, I wasn’t going to hate on it too much. It’s just not my thing. Now, all I can think about it how bad that fucking song is, and how I wish they would all die because of it. Whose idea was it? Why didn’t their producer stop them? Didn’t Nuclear Blast learn anything from Sonic Syndicate? 

I need a beer.

  1. Fearless
  2. Make it Better
  3. Scream My Name
  4. Viral
  5. Adrenaline
  6. Strong
  7. The Game
  8. Crystalline
  9. Archangel
  10. BOOM!1
  11. Die and Wake Up
  12. Do or Die
  • Michael Doherty

    What sort of review is this? Who is this flog? Don’t give up your day job. If you have one of course.