Cheesy hair metal clones of the 80s

Little known in their own backyard of Australia, a bunch of kids named Mystery have apparently been embarking on a ‘world’ tour to an allegedly ‘massive’ fanfare across Europe.

Exactly how much ‘fanfare’ this band has accomplished overseas is debatable, but are these mid-puberty kids the new Silverchair, and do we actually care?

Whereas Silverchair brought teenage grunge to the world back in the 90s, Mystery have dug up 80s hair metal and despite the bravado of their album cover and the admirable media spiel regarding these musicians (check out their website), they ultimately fall a long way short of expectation. If you are a 16 or 17 year old kid and attending a school ball and Mystery were playing, there’s no doubt you would be in for a great time – who wouldn’t love some guys rocking out in true hair metal style at your school function – but world tour… seriously?

It must be said, the production of the album 2013 is first class. Clean, crisp sound with no muddiness, it’s clear these kids have either got the backing or the connections to create a decent product. The band even has a full production, Poison style music video for the track ‘Test of Time’, so money must be coming from somewhere. However, when the album is played, it’s crystal clear that whilst there are some okay hooks here and there, they are just kids after all, the vocals lack any angst, and the lyrics are cheesy hair metal clones from the 80s.

2013 begins with a mediocre instrumental intro before we’re treated to ‘Raise The Fist’, with its sub-par gang vocals, ordinary riff and rip off lyrics: “Stand up, we’re not gonna take it”. ‘Freedom’ is bearable but the breakdown and solo fails to reach any high point – or even a medium point for that matter. The chorus of ‘Non Stop to Nowhere’ is okay but getting there is laborious and when we’re finally hit with a decent solo, it trails off into the next track for some bizarre reason. The rest of the album follows in familiar format: riff, macho vocals from a 17 year old and a lyrical cheese-fest.

The album concludes with a bizarre cover of Men at Work’s ‘Down Under’, an ear bleeding, off-beat hair metal representation that would have the people of Australia cringing (if it ever received airplay here… which it won’t). A horrific representation of Australian metal if these bands are making it onto festivals in Europe. This album is kids being kids… it’s fun for those making it and likely their parents and friends but any true rock or metal fan will be using it as a drink coaster after one listen.

1. 2013: A New Dawn
2. Raise Your Fist
3. Freedom
4. Nonstop to Nowhere
5. Test of Time
6. On Fire
7. Rock n Roll Forever Be
8. Lost in Time
9. Stand Up and Shout
10. Land Down Under