May just be slightly more than worthless

For the greater part of his career, Wednesday 13 has been best known as the guy who dresses up like Nikki Sixx in that band with Slipknot’s drummer.

But when Jordison’s off at his real job, Wednesday’s left with his erratic solo career making horror punk records. I haven’t really checked any of them out since Skeletons, which wasn’t bad, but if the rest of them have been anything like this then I’m not missing much. Calling All Corpses starts badly, wobbles towards some kind of redemption and then trails off again, resulting in an album that may just be slightly more than worthless.

The spooky intro is actually good, but everything goes down hill from there. “I Wanna be Cremated” is possibly one of the worst songs ever, like a retarded Misfits cover band doing a Ramones song with Alice Cooper when he was fucked up on booze so bad he made awful records he doesn’t even remember. For some reason, Wednesday seems to think that just croaking “I Wanna be Cremated” eight times a row is a good idea for a chorus. Even Iron¬† Maiden can barely get away with that, and they have more going for them than recycled Danzig riffs. “Ghoul of My Dreams” and “One Knife Stand”, clever titles aside, aren’t really much better, with almost identical hooks and repetitive choruses.The title track is just two lines – “Calling all corpses/Tonight’s the night we drink your blood”, repeated for two and a half minutes.¬† “Miss Morgue” is utterly forgettable; “Silver Bullets” is slightly ok. It’s like he’s forgotten how to write songs. The album’s well underway now and there’s been very little to sustain interest.

He redeems himself a little with “Bad at Being Human” – dedicated to Lux Interior of The Cramps – and “Candle for the Devil” which, while not really rising above the very average, are easily two of the best songs on here. “We All Die” has a genuine, pop-informed hook and a catchy “Whoa-oh” chorus as if he’d walked past a place blasting out Women and Children Last on his way to the studio and realised he supposed to be a song writer. Musically it’s fairly bland too, although Roman Surman fires off some rockabilly-inspired leads when he gets a chance, which is not very often.

I thought the Murderdolls albums were – if not fantastic – then at the very least good rock n roll records, so it’s hard to see what the problem is here. It’s almost as if Wednesday 13 just doesn’t care.

1. Blood Fades to Black (intro)
2. I Wanna be Cremated
3. Ghoul of My Dreams
4. One Knife Stand
5. Calling All Corpses
6. Miss Morgue
7. Silver Bullets
8. Bad at Being Human
9. Candle for the Devil
10. We All Die
11. Something Wicked This Way Comes
12. Blood Fades to Black (reprise)